Hiddlestonia (the scientific name for being obsessed with Tom Hiddleston) is a very deadly disease whose treatment works best at the earlier stages. Once this illness reaches levels 4 and 5, it cannot be cured. Learn to identify the signs so that you can prevent yourself and others from being harmed by this disease. The stages are as follows.
1) The “Wow, not that attractive” stage.
If you are in this stage, you are not yet in danger of becoming Hiddlestoned. Although, still make sure to take daily countermeasures to keep yourself healthy.
2) The “Meh, I’ve seen better” stage.
In this stage, the person will consider Tom Hiddleston’s attractiveness, but dismiss it in lieu of other men or women. This stage is a crucial turning point because they can be easily cured, but can progress further to next stage if not careful.
3) The “Hmmm, he’s actually pretty good looking” stage.
If the person is in this stage, I would suggest immediate medical help. They have not progressed to the uncurable stages, but they are in grave danger of doing so. Since they have now realized the overall attractiveness of Tom Hiddleston, they will show increased signs of obsession.
4) The “OMG CAN’T HANDLE” stage.
In this stage, the person will squee, flail, or display an increased heart rate at even a mention of Tom Hiddleston. The person will have fully realized the attractiveness of Tom Hiddleston and has reached the “obsession” phase. At this point, the disease becomes terminal and will immediately progress to the last stage.
5) The “KLDJFKDLJGLKDSFHGJLDFKLAJDFKLASHDFJAS;HJFDASLHDFKJASHDFJ;KASHDFJKASHFDLKJASDHFKSAD;JFHAKSDJFHAS;DJKFSAD;LFKSDLJFS;AKLDJF;SADKLHFSALDHGASJDJFKLSDJFLKASDHGAKDJSHGL;KAJFLKSADHGLJADKHGKDLFJGKLADJFGLKAHDGALJHG” Stage
In this stage, the subject will have a full-formed obsession with Tom Hiddleston and can only respond with a verbal keysmash to any mention, picture, or .gif of him. This is the final stage and the subject cannot be cured, and may repeatably type “I’M DYING” in between keysmashes. To make it easier on the person, I would suggest not mentioning Tom Hiddleston in their presence, as that may induce a fan spasm like no other, followed by crying, fainting, or repeated typing of “OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WHAT IS AIR?”.
Thank you for taking the time to learn how to keep you and those around you healthy. Remember, if you are alert and careful, you can live a long and quality life free from the damaging affects of Hiddlestonia.
